OUR BIG FEET ARE LEAVING A HUGE CARBON FOOTPRINT!!!

So everyone has heard of the three R’s over and over again. Reduce. Reuse. Recycle. I partake at work and here and there but I never actually took it seriously. My plan this weekend is to get as many people involved in my family as I can and to start a serious recycling plan at home. The irreversible damage that is being done is unreal. Last year, 2010 was the most crippling year we have ever encountered before with the largest amount of coral reef dying ever. It has to do with global warming created by our own selfishness. I don’t expect anyone to be able to stop this but we can do our part to make a difference and slow down the effects. Coral Reef plays such an important role in our ecosystem. The coral reefs were first developed 5-7,000 years ago. These reefs are homes for millions of habitats and provide food for numerous plants and animals. The reefs form a natural storm breaker and play a major role in our economy especially here in Florida. The reefs are a 4 billion dollar industry and need to be protected from boats, human activity, and pollution. Over 75% of the reefs in Florida were declared in poor state this year. I joined the reef alliance and am working towards many any changes that I am capable of this year….updates to follow.

Two boys, an audience, a Christmas Tree and lighter fluid = New Years Eve!

I brought in the new year at my sisters house. It was set up perfectly with tons of good treats, laughter and the people I love. The boys got carried away as to be expected but they were quite helpful. In their search for things to burn they practically cleaned her whole yard. They are like two tornadoes that during the creation of the destruction path they turn the soil for better crops. Happy New Year!

The Winter Snap has turned into the Winter Clap…Make it go away!

I couldn’t wait for winter this year. I was dying to break out the boots, sweaters and scarves. Well it’s been a month I’ve gotten to wear all of my new stuff and I’m missing my flip flops and tank tops. I think the extreme ups and downs in Florida make it more difficult than it has to be. Your body can never quite fully adjust to it being hot or cold. One day your playing outside wearing your summer clothes and the very next evening your snuggled up by the fire with five blankets over you trying to kill the chill. Leo is having a hard time adjusting as well J

FEAR

Reading an article in the paper today I stumbled upon a story of a woman who was born with the disability of “No Fear” or STM as they call it. I thought to myself wow why would that ever be considered a disability and not an ability. I instantly thought of my own fears…it is quite a long list and wondered how my life might be different if I didn’t have them at all. Maybe I wouldn’t get sick to my stomach when looking off of the watch tower at the local park, maybe I would let my guard down when I met someone I could potentially fall for, maybe I would be able to walk to my car at night to grab something I forgot without hesitation for what is lurking in the dark, or maybe I would even get up and walk away from my life and start a new one somewhere else. Fear has always been an impairment in my life. What I failed to realize is that fear has also been a savior in my life. It has kept me from some of the damaging activities I had the opportunity to participate in, it has forced me to complete things I wanted to give up on because I was scared of disappointing others and fear has made me more aware and careful of my actions. Most things in life are two sided, this is just another one. I think I will keep my fears for now…..until they can or need to be conquered.

Ichepucksassa...It's where I'm from?? Really?

Studying history…reading random articles…..doing pointless research trying to keep myself busy and my mind occupied from the thoughts that it always returns to. It’s not easy….every moment is a fight. But in my quest to prevent the endless circles of self accusations I learned some interesting things about the town that I grew up in. I called my wonderful sister eager to share the info but she was already on top of it, she is the smartest girl I know. Anyways thought I would share…just some interesting facts and pictures.

Plant City's original name was Ichepucksassa after the Indian village that once occupied this territory. So much confusion was created with the spelling and pronunciation that the Irish postmaster renamed the village Cork, after his home city. In 1884, Henry B. Plant extended the South Florida Railroad into the town and one year later, when the town was incorporated, it was once again renamed this time in honor of Henry B. Plant.

Originally Plant City was a large cotton center.  Changing its major crop to strawberries has brought it national recognition.  Today, over three-quarters of the nation's midwinter strawberries come from Plant City. 

Plant City has a rich history dating back to the mid-1800s when settlers first began to populate Florida. Plant City was incorporated in 1885, 16 years after the state was chartered.  Plant City derives its name not from the surrounding agricultural industry which greatly added to the City's growth, but from Henry Bradley Plant.

It’s good to know where you come from to determine where your headed.

Pages keep turning.......age is approaching rapidly.....for all of us.

Another moment, hour, day, week and month has passed.... aging is on my brain......I stand in front of the mirror pouring on moisturizer...especially to the corners of my eyes and around my mouth....I smile painfully hard into my reflection glaring at the crows feet that appear and disappear as I smile then frown....I try to imagine myself much older and wrinklier.....at the same time wondering if my grandparents, parents and older friends ever laughed and could not picture themselves aging either......it seems as though there is a clock before each of our heads ticking away.....tick tick tick....three more seconds gone....why is aging such a scary thing....why are people so unable to embrace something that is inevitable.....I think that there are always insecurities when it comes to our looks changing.....but being closer to the unknown is like teetering on the edge of a black hole.....where does it lead?

Things have started to change in my world and slowly I am becoming more of the person I want to be. I visited with my Dad yesterday at the ALF. I think it can be pretty painful watching someone dissolve from a man into a piece of who they were. I get angry at my higher power sometimes for making human beings go through such an awful struggle at the closing of their life. But when truly reflecting on the situation I think that it is very important for each of us to experience it. Not only for ourselves but for others as well. During the aging process a knowledge is gained of what it is to be forgotten or not pleasant to be around....which leaves nothing but time to reflect on your own life. Where it has been and where it is headed. These thoughts consume the mind and trap questions of "what if?" and "when will this end?". People become some imprisoned that it prevents any moments left you may have to enjoy your family.

Seeing the changes in my father and my family have also made me realize how short life really can be and how it is so easy to get swept into pursuing activities, people, friends and lifestyles that are so far from who you actually are. It also lets me know that we are all here trying to pursue our own path whatever that may be. Just because I don't agree with your path or the things along the way that you have done should not make me dislike you or treat you any different then anyone else. I have grown to be such a judgemental person lately. Maybe it is to protect myself from feeling. It is much easier to get angry with people for the things they did wrong in their life then to be grateful for the things they did right.  Regardless of how many bumps there were in the road I do want to forgive and I do appreciate what was able to be done for me in my life time. It has meant a lot. I don't want to leave this earth knowing that I treated someone that loved me with disdain for the things they have done in their life weather those actions were carried out by mental lacking or poor personal choices. We are all hurt by many things my father did. My only hope at the close of this day is that he will find peace....within himself and with his higher power because we all have the right to redemption......

Thursday, October 7th

Yet another birthday!!!! Today is my Mother's 58th birthday. She is a timeless beauty and the only one I know that can manage to keep her childlike innocence into adulthood. I can honestly say she doesn't look much different from when I was little. I'm not sure if it was the non smoking or not wearing a lot of make up but she has been perfectly preserved. She is an incredible friend, parent, artist and mentor and she happens to be my personal therapist. Between her, Mimi and my sister I was able to pick myself up from ground zero. I am so lucky for the strong women in my life. Gratitude. I am so thankful to have a beautiful childhood painted with homemade birthday cakes, game nights, amazing food, personalized bedrooms, laughter and more. Everything in our world is changing right now and there are times when the stress of life gets to her. Her spirit is strong though and no matter what kind of pain she is in physically or mentally she trudges on and manages to carry the weight of her family with her. When I have a strong moment or am creative, I always think to myself that is a little bit of her in me, and it makes me proud.

Recalling a memory that seems funny to me now. At about ten years old, I was going through an old red trunk of my mothers. I loved looking at pictures of her when she was a teenager because I wanted to look just like her. We got to chatting and looking through pictures of her friend Virgina and her. She said that when they were younger, Virginia said she wanted five children and my mom said she wanted none. In reality my mom ended up with three and Virginia has one. At the time this made me mad. I spent everyday playing house with my sister and practicing to be a Mom. I spent time planning how many children I would have and what their names would be. Where we would live. How could she have not been dreaming and planning for me to? Maybe it got to me because as a child I heard my dad say that all his kids were accidents and this confirmed his words. I realize now that nothing in this world is an accident. Everything happens for a reason and this is currently humorous to me because she didn't need to plan. She didn't need to practice. It just came naturally, in most cases babies are a gift to the families that receive them. In this case my mother was a gift to each one of us blessing each one of our lives in different ways. I hope that on her busy moving day she has at least one moment to sit down, relax and reflect. In just 58 short years she was able to master motherhood, friendship, loyalty, kindness, strength, marriage and family. Her day has come. She has spent her life serving her main purposes and it is time they serve her now. My wish for her birthday is that the path to her true happiness is easily sought out and found this year. I wish that she settles comfortably into her new home and that the stress and guilt of her marriage are left behind at the Maryland House. This year will be filled with new memories and a family closeness that I'm sure she has missed lately. Soon enough the burdens on her shoulders will disappear and her new beautiful home will be filled with all the comforts of the old home but with a new fresh feeling of freedom for her. I can already see Leo and Lola playing in the yard with my Mom's future grandchildren in her beautiful diamond shaped garden while she smiles with a true deep smile, with no sadness or grief behind it. We will get there mom I promise. I love you. Happy Birthday!