Monday, October 4th

Things have been going........I have not been on in a little bit because my schedule often drains me of all my energy. I have been opening up in ways that I never thought I would and evolving in ways that I never could have imagined. I have always believed in signs and that people enter and exit your life at different times to serve a purpose. Weather it is a friend that is bringing you up in a time of need or just an acquaintance that is kind to you. All of these meetings, although some brief or painful are not a coincidence and each encounter should be thought of as a gift. I am learning to be more open and in turn am learning everyday. I recently ran into a girl that I had despised and was quite ugly to in the past. Mainly because one of my other friends did not care for her. Sounds silly but it was who I was at that moment in my life, a direct reflection of whomever I was around. I never carried a conversation on with her and was pretty cold to her. She was with one of my friends this week, who asked if she could come over. Without hesitation I said yes. Part of my transformation is to accept any and all people into my heart and be open. Almost instantly within meeting, for the first time formally, we had so much in common. From struggles with family members with Dementia to interest in reincarnation. We chatted until almost two in the morning. When she left I was pleased with the evening. I was disappointed in myself at first for never giving her a chance from the beginning. But I know that she was meant to enter my life at the time she did. I do not question why anymore…..I am just grateful. I may have anger in my heart at times for my ex because things did not work out. In the end though it is mainly because I miss the times we shared and the life that we created. Today I am grateful for my failed marriage. It is sad to close the door on not only our relationship together but mainly on our friendship. I now know that it is OK to still love her no matter what happened and I have a strong belief that it was her time to leave my life. Perhaps the person's life that she has entered now was more in need than I am today…whatever the reason I am grateful for the memories and the path this change has lead me to today……